Movement in cinema is an illusion it tricks us into its version of reality and from there on the rules are made to fit the agenda. It can touch us inside in places where we can’t usually go on our own and we trust it after that no matter what it tires to tell us we’ll trust it like a child to its mother. We have a formal language of symbolic imagery we can build messages with. I can spell out things when I think hard about it but when I watch something that someone else spelled out it’s just a flash in front of me I cant figure how it happens its inside of me, I’m completely fooled and I feel different afterwards. Only with movies this happens, black magic mystery. It happens too fast I can’t keep up. People think it’s just for entertainment but their wrong. Its mind control, black magic mind control. I know the language of mind control and no one can stop me now. Why do I want to know that how much power? I’m sick, just sick. Why do I want to control people’s minds?
Sometimes I think it only because I’m unsure. I have certain ways of thinking and I’m afraid that I’m wrong about those ideas. But if I can convince people to think the way I do then I must be right. If everyone thinks it I must be right. I must be right.
Lets make believe reality we don’t have to be scared of the validity of our ideas anymore. We know there real we made them from scratch. We made the rules. We’re safe now.
Truth is what we believe. Film is the ultimate persuader. Internet and video determines our idea of reality now.
There’s just too much stuff. I can’t take it anymore. It’s a wall. The face of a tidal wave. I’m scared. It’s not a wall like a brick wall. It’s a wall like a fucking tidal wave. And I’m standing on the beach watching it come at me. It’s coming so fast that it looks like slow motion. There’s no more sound or maybe my ears just don’t work anymore. And I cant breathe. I want this to be a dream. I want to press rewind. There’s no getting out of this. It’s coming all at once. So much so fast, it sucks all the air from my beach. In one second every thing changes and there’s no going back and everything that mattered before doesn’t matter anymore and all bets are off and all laws are broken you look at me and my little home get washed away and you can’t imagine. I don’t mean figuratively. I mean really, I’m telling you, you cannot imagine what it feels like to get swept up in an instant with such a force. My whole world snapped to black nothing. Like a light switch and what’s worse is its not the end of something. That would be easy. Sad, tragic, something to mark on the calendar and then go to bed and forget about it. But its not the end, it’s the beginning of something entirely different. And I have to wake up at some point but at the bottom of the ocean with the weight of everything on top of me. And everything I’ve come to rely on is gone. And there aren’t any rules any more and I cant even find anybody I used to know. I breathe salt water and think about how light and easy air was. And you sit there on the couch and watch with slightly piqued interest and a slightly upset stomach as my dramatic transition unfolds inside of your box. And its o.k. And you feel a little prick of emotion in your side and suddenly your overwhelmed with gratitude that you’re not some kind of humanitarian and you don’t have to clean the mess that I’m in because helping other people isn’t your job and you couldn’t possibly have any connection to me because I live on a another planet. And if all this gets to be too much for you to think about you’ll just change the channel. Remember how I wanted to do that? When I was standing in front of that wall of water? I wanted to change the channel. Human instinct I guess. And isn’t it funny how sometimes when were watching our TVs we forget to take in the view from our windows?